Do you experiment with honesty?
October 7, 2019

A friend recently gave me a recommendation for a book she knew I’d love. I’d thought the same thing, because I’d ordered it the minute I’d heard about it.

It didn’t enchant. I gave it thirty pages or so (my standard) and bailed.

Now what? Do I tell my friend that? Or let it go?

Considering we’d recently decided we were forever friends I thought, “I’m going for it.” I wrapped my response in all the usual disclaimers, but I told the truth. Then I reminded her she was welcome to tell me if recommendations I give her fall flat.

Years from now, if I’m talking in a public forum about the book she loved that I hadn’t (doubtful but not impossible), I won’t have to worry about telling the truth. It’s like what at least one celebrity’s offered about a bonus of not cheating on your wife: “Who has time to keep track of all those lies?”

It goes deeper than that, though. If you want a friendship to go deeper, you start by telling the truth. Maybe not the whole truth. Not all at once, anyway. But the truth, and nothing but the truth.

If we want people to see us for who we are, it helps to let them!