Are you forever bungling apologies?
September 4, 2019

How much someone hurts is not your call. It isn’t your job to decide how quickly that person should feel better, accept your apology, and move on.

An apology, when proffered too quickly, can backfire. It isn’t a box you check on a form you fill out so you can get on with your day. It starts with finding out just how much someone hurts. Once the wounded party gets that, your apology’s almost a bonus.

People want to feel heard.

It takes time to clean up the mess you made, granted. So don’t make another one as you mop up.

On the flip side…

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something like this? “I said I was sorry. What do you want?” It’s the first clue you’re dealing with someone who’s filling out the form I just mentioned.

Now what? You might be better off getting closure elsewhere. Not everyone’s on a quest to be a better person. A lot of people, especially past a certain age, just want to get by. Proceed accordingly.

If there’s anything less satisfying than someone who refuses to feel your pain, after all, it’s the suggestion this is actually your fault for noticing!