Do you honor your basic needs?
July 30, 2017

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am maniacal about boundaries. Much if not most of what happens in the course of a day or a week or a life isn’t only about me, of course -- and what you read here is with the permission (indeed, blessing) of the other people involved. Even with Katie, I’m loathe to report on much beyond what we directly experience with her. When it comes to her friendships? Forget it. They’re hers to share, or not.

Can you guess what’s coming? Yes! An exception! Why bother with a whole paragraph of disclaimers if you aren’t going to make an exception? I feel comfortable doing that because I doubt the guy I’m going to tell you about reads this blog. Even if he does, I would’ve said this to his face. Someone should.

Katie had built him up a lot. Darrell and I got to meet him. We only had part of an afternoon with him, but what struck me is how often he checked his phone. Yes, I realize how common that is. No, I didn’t see Katie appreciating it. She’d apologized to us about it -- and while I’d felt bad for her, I didn’t linger on it. His friendship was obviously important to her, and that was that.

You can guess what else is coming. Yes! He’s history! I can’t remember the exact wording Katie used when she described how easy it was to move on from this particular friendship, but it was something along the lines of not feeling like she was special enough to rate his even occasional undivided attention.

Interrupting conversations to check your phone won’t kill people, granted. They die a little inside, though. Does that count?